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This “love it or leave it” and “us or them” mentality also assumes we all have the financial privilege to drastically change our circumstances (i.e. There are always viable options in the middle of two absolutes. It’s a logical fallacy that assumes there are only two choices when faced with unhappiness or conflict: stay or go, which is obviously not true. Many people, ethnic or not, have no doubt heard the ol’ “love it or leave it” line.
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The price is, “Get the fuck out of this country bitch if you don’t like it,” messages in my inbox.
#I worry when im away from my kids free#
She writes, “You are only free when you realize you belong no place – you belong every place - no place at all. It just doesn’t feel right anymore.Īccording to Maya Angelou to belong nowhere is freeing. This is why we now question our “belonging” to this country daily. If we belong to ourselves and honor our blended cultures, we’re not American enough and we’re acting “unpatriotic.” If we belong to white America’s narrative and align ourselves in this way, we directly threaten and hurt the parts of us that make us, us. Essentially, it feels like there is no way for multiethnic people to belong. Unfortunately, picking sides is an impossible feat for those of us that love America, but also love our blended heritages.
#I worry when im away from my kids full#
I’ve always viewed myself, my husband, and my kids just as I do other Americans - a multicultural family in a nation that is full of diversity. We celebrate Iranian New Year and Christmas. My kids have learned to celebrate all of their various identities: Italian, Polish, Persian and American. I was born in upstate New York to a family of Italian and Polish immigrants. Almost every time I shared article on social media criticizing Donald Trump’s platform, I’d get at least one commenter saying, “If you don’t like it, then leave!” I also got, “If you don’t like it, go back to your country.” Go back where exactly? I was born here. Like many others who were upset, I took to social media to air some of my frustrations. It was heart-breaking and confusing all at once. Some of these supporters revealed themselves as my own neighbors, life-long friends, college roommates, and even family members. The scariest part of all - he had a band of supporters who shared the same troubling ideologies, fears, and hatred as him. In 2016, we didn’t just have a candidate that had unfavorable qualities or questionable policies – we were faced with one that was blatantly racist, xenophobic, and sexist (and bragged about grabbing pussies). The simmering hate and apathy was growing and becoming glaringly obvious. But this stranger’s comment stayed with me and became the premonition of what was to come for me, my family, and many other multi-ethnic families in this country - families and individuals who thought they belonged, only to find out they didn’t … and maybe they never had.Ī few months later, the U.S. I promptly blocked him and deleted the comment. I thought, did he really type that? And to a person he doesn’t even know? Stunned, I squinted to look at the comment more closely. It was a man with white hair and a white beard who wrote, “If you like it so much then move there!” Then my eyes caught a person’s photo I’d never seen before.
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Some gave me recommendations of places to visit. Later that evening, while still buzzing from my Bordeaux at dinner, I scrolled through my Facebook “likes.” (You know you do it, too.) Many of my friends wished me well and happy travels.